


Chaos with Children

by sororexitium



Series: Peter's Special Power Is Wrapping Tony Around His Tiny Finger [6]
Category: Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Birthday Party, Domestic Avengers, Gen, M/M, Tony is an awesome dad, but so is Steve, that poor dinosaur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sororexitium/pseuds/sororexitium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor sets Peter and Gwen down on the ground so that they and the four children that had been following them can go play on one of the jungle gyms that are scattered around the large, spacious room. Natasha catches Peter quickly and gives him five birthday spankings, causing the little boy to squeal and twist before she puts him down again and shoots Clint with a dart all within the span of a minute. Steve drops down next to Peter with yet another Nerf gun—and seriously, where did those come from—and helps him aim at Natasha. He misses but not by much and then Steve is hauling him away toward the jungle gym before she can return fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaos with Children

**Author's Note:**

> I am not the biggest fan of this one, but I argued with it and argued with it and at the end it called me a name so I told it it was a meanie head, stuck my tongue out at it and posted it anyway. I'm doing this because it's been a while since I posted to the series and I've wanted to do a birthday party for Peter for a while SO...
> 
> Also, a few people have asked me what the other names Clint made up for Tony's contact in 'Arts and Crafts'. I meant to answer in 'A Little History' but I'm a little bit of a scatterbrain. Anyway. Here's a list: 
> 
> Steve - Captain Heartthrob  
> Clint- Bromantic Partner  
> Natasha - Redheaded Demon  
> Bruce - Enraged Frog  
> Thor - Thunderstruck  
> Pepper - The Punisher  
> Rhodey - 1987 (Clint wants to know the story so bad)
> 
> I have a few others but they don't call Tony that often.

Tony hasn’t slept in twenty-six hours and this time it is completely intentional.

Peter’s birthday is today. His baby boy is another year older; five years old. Steve, Natasha, and he have been looking into schools, and some sports that he could play. It’s all Tony can do to not throw a fit and demand Peter be homeschooled. He hasn’t ever really thought about it. The last five years, Peter was small and didn’t like to be set down on the ground. Mary and Rick never specifically talked about schools, and Tony only ever had enough presence of mind to know that his son would not be going to some boarding school halfway across the country.

But now his baby is five, and wanders all over New York City on the backs of Steve, Clint, even himself. He has eleven friends coming to his birthday party at some place in Brooklyn that specializes in parties. Tony paid for it but Pepper had been the one to pick it out, claiming that Peter would just love it; it has a man in a dinosaur suit!

Tony for his part has been in the kitchen for two hours, trying to perfect the pancake. He read a few recipes on the internet and has been taking him time painstakingly trying to create the best pancake on the face of the planet for Pete’s breakfast before they dress him up and cart him down for his birthday party. Unfortunately, although he is a genius and sometimes his genius is expounded by several hours of sleep deprivation, making breakfast does not seem to be in that category.

He doesn’t have a fucking clue what is in his pan. It has the vague substance of pancake batter, the same coloring, but it just kind of sits there and oozes as if resistant to heat, which if it is, cool! He’ll have to explore that later, but for now it’s really fucking irritating and he’s going to have to get Steve or, god forbid, Thor to help him out.

He stares into the bubbling mass of goo and it says to him, ‘FAIL!’ Mainly because he wrote it into the somewhat solid center with his spatula.

He’s startled by a hand on his shoulder and another reaching around him to tilt the pan.

Steve chuckles behind him and Tony is feeling just tetchy enough that he considers elbowing him. He doesn’t in the end, because he knows Steve isn’t trying to be mean. He’s an accidental asshole, most of the time.

“I think I could use this instead of peanut butter to put in your electronics,” he says and that does get him an elbow to the ribs.

“I’m trying to come up with a new flame resistant compound,” Tony snarks.

Steve leans in and kisses his head. “Well, it says you’re failing.” He then rubs Tony’s arm, steals the spatula, and scoots Tony along towards the direction of the coffee machine almost before Tony figures out what he’s doing. “Here, let me tackle this one for you. You get coffee and wake Pete up.”

Tony wants to glare at him for taking over his carefully conducted experiment, but at the rate he’s been going, he’s probably only going to succeed in making a new life form. So, he draws himself up gets a bowl full of coffee and goes to his son’s room to wake to birthday boy.

*

The place they chose for Peter’s birthday party is an experiment in chaos, the likes of which can only be produced by twelve four and five year olds. There is squealing, yelling, and crashing aplenty. Silly string is on every surface including the party leaders at the joint Tony rented for the occasion. Confetti is being tossed by little hands and they’re all lucky none of it has ended up in the cake or pizza. Not to mention the poor schmuck in the dinosaur suit; the one that three of the children have decided must be conquered in the name of shenanigans everywhere.

It isn’t helped that Peter’s aunts and uncles are all there, and being an Avenger is pretty much equivalent to never growing up. Tony is seriously gearing up to have a conversation with the owner of the place, because he’s pretty sure the woman is going to want to sue him after Clint, Natasha, and Thor get done with this place. They’ve all but hijacked the job of the party leaders, probably turned the party leaders into their bitch, because nothing is going to the outlined agendas plans. Thor continues to lead them in song and march, Peter on his shoulders, Gwen in one arm, and a small foam bat in his free hand, wailing about Peter’s ‘glorious battles’ on the playground, while Clint and Natasha formulate a black-ops mission with Nerf guns and six children.

Tony doesn’t know where they got the Nerf guns. He doesn’t want to know either.

The other parents don’t seem to mind that their children have been shanghaied by crazy people. A few mothers and father have cameras out, this time with the soul intention of catching their children being wild things instead of trying to catch the Avengers doing domestic things, although today that is part of the program. Steve is even out there with one of Tony’s cameras, capturing Peter’s sad attempts at keeping up with Thor’s ode to him.

It warms Tony right down to his core, the way it always does when he sees Steve and his friends with his son. Eight months ago, he never would have imagined anything like this. When Pepper showed up at the hospital with Natasha hot on her heels, both of them looking scared and sad in a way Tony had never seen before, Tony had been a wreck and completely unsure if he would ever be able to pull off parenting without the help of Mary and Rick. When the other Avengers had looked between him and Peter the day he brought him home, Tony wasn’t sure how they would accept his son into their busy hectic lives.

Now, it’s almost like Peter had been with them since day one.

Thor sets Peter and Gwen down on the ground so that they and the four children that had been following them can go play on one of the jungle gyms that are scattered around the large, spacious room. Natasha catches Peter quickly and gives him five birthday spankings, causing the little boy to squeal and twist before she puts him down again and shoots Clint with a dart all within the span of a minute. Steve drops down next to Peter with yet another Nerf gun—and seriously, where did those come from—and helps him aim at Natasha. He misses but not by much and then Steve is hauling him away toward the jungle gym before she can return fire.

Bruce, who’s been settled on the seat next to him for the better part of the afternoon, speaks up quietly, “Your face will get stuck like that if you aren’t careful.”

Tony starts a little, turning to his friend beside him, who had been out in the festivities when the silly string was out, but had taken a seat when the Nerf guns came into play. It takes him a moment to decipher what the man said, having been so focused on watching his son. Once the words are pulled apart, he realizes that he had been smiling pretty largely and still is.

“There are worse way for my face to freeze,” he replies, slouching down in his seat as he returns to his eyes to Peter and Gwen, who are carefully trying to make their way across a giant rope net while Steve takes even more pictures and Thor cheers beside him for the Nerf match. He jabs Bruce with his elbow. “My face could get stuck like yours.”

“You’re a real funny guy, Tony. Remind me not to attend open mike night if you’re performing.”

“This from the man dating the king of sarcasm,” gesturing toward Clint who has somehow gathered Thor onto his side. Surprising Thor is a decent shot with a dart gun, although he’ll stay still for a few of the kids to peg him. Natasha has gathered one of the party leaders onto her side, although the man seems completely unsure of how the game is supposed to be played or which child is on whose side. He’s been kicked by a little redhead boy, named Andy, for hitting him, screaming, “I’m on your side, stupidhead!”

Bruce shrugs, watching his boyfriend have a small huddle group with the kids on his team, which has Andy’s twin sister, Anna. “It’s kind of endearing.”

“He’s endearing, but you won’t come to my open mike?” Tony huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “You aren’t my favorite anymore.”

Bruce chuckles, kicking his ankle. “Haven’t been your favorite in a while,” he says with a furtive glance over at Steve.

Tony makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. He and Steve have only been ‘actual dating’ for about three weeks now and really the only thing that’s changed is the amount of kissing and heavy petting they get up to. They’re dates still normally consist of taking Peter to the park, a museum, an ice cream parlor; pretty much anywhere the little guy wants to go. It doesn’t really seem to bother any of them, for which Tony is very thankful.

“Fine,” Tony says, staring after Steve as he goes over to grab a water bottle, his picture taking momentarily halted. “You’re no longer my second favorite.”

“I’ll get over it somehow,” Bruce retorts dryly.

Tony gives him an unimpressed stare but before he can really reply, he hears Peter yell for him. He jerks his head over looking for the source of Peter’s voice. It’s not easily apparent, because Peter is looking out at him from one of the plastic windows in the jungle gym, waving for him to come over. Tony is up on his feet almost before he can control himself, heading for the opening of the small box and peering in.

Only to get attacked with some collected confetti.

Tony stands there for a moment before he shakes his head, tiny, shiny dinosaurs falling out of his hair and onto his t-shirt. His son is giggling uncontrollably in the opposite corner of the little room, his hands over his mouth in an effort to muffle the sounds and his large eyes bright with merriment. Tony has a hard time even pretending to be stern, but he manages it, if only for a second.

“Peter,” he says with as much firmness as he can, watching his little boy quiet down, his eyes losing just a bit of that happiness, and that’s all Tony can take before he says, “Better run, baby boy.”

Tony hoists himself into the little hidey-hole and Peter is off like a rocket, out the other little entrance/exit, laughter shrieking in his wake.

Tony crawls through the little tunnels after him, not nearly as fast, because he’s old and his son is…not. But he keeps Peter in sight as he ducks through other little platforms and every time his little boy looks back, he has a huge smile on his face and that’s all that matters to Tony.

*

The man in the dinosaur suit is in the room for lunch, cake and ice cream and by the end of it he ducks out of the room and Steve is pretty sure he can hear sobbing and prayers. He thinks Peter and his group of friends may have just put that man off children for the rest of his life. The party leaders look frazzled and a little breathless, glad that they’re closing in on the end of this party.

Steve can’t imagine that having the Avengers around children is easy to deal with. He certainly finds his hands full more often than not. Hell, just between Tony and Peter alone his attention is usually completely occupied. He’s probably lucky that he has Bruce to help keep the team in some semblance of control, because all the others are not helpful at all in that area. For being a bunch of superheroes, they are all a bunch of petulant brats.

At the head of the table, Peter sits with a plastic crown on his head. Tony is in the seat next to him, and Gwen is on the other side, because Gwen is his bestest friend ever! He’s looking over some toy that makes it look like he’s a mad scientist but actually produces candy. Darcy sent it to him with a card that says, ‘Sorry I couldn’t make it, little man. My boss sucks! Love, Darce’. Steve thinks Jane would probably take offence to that but she sent a card with money saying, ‘Happy Birthday, Petey. Would have been there but my assistant is incompetent.’

Pepper is in Chicago, but she sent a video message for Tony to play with her gift, and Rhodey sent a giant tube of plastic tractors for him to play with along with a card that says, ‘Next time, small sir.’ Steve’s friend, Sam Wilson, even sent a toy drum, which has Tony looking up at him mutinously.  Steve tries to look innocent, but knows he doesn’t pull it off. All in all, Steve would say that Peter is making like a bandit this birthday, just from the people who couldn’t make an appearance.

Steve smiles largely when he captures Peter pushing his face into his father’s, getting up close and personal as he says something Steve can’t hear. Tony is having troubles trying to focus on the face in front of his as well as not laughing if the way his lips keep twitching is anything to go by. Peter looks very serious, but not like he’s being bratty, just…being a goober, as he’s prone to do more and more these days. Eventually, Tony glances at Steve and shrugs, his attempts to keep from smiling failing spectacularly and eventually Peter gives in too, breaking into a large smile before Gwen captures his attention by pointing to one of the other kids.

Steve makes his way through the room, moving around other parents, party leaders, silly-string-wielding-Avengers and small children launching projectiles until he’s standing behind Tony and taking pictures from a different angle as he says, “I think the guy in the dinosaur suit might need to talk to a shrink.”

Tony glances around for the dinosaur that had made his escape not long ago before shrugging. “Took him longer than I thought it would. That entire debacle with the Nerf guns would have sent normal people screaming.”

Steve grimaces at the memory of it, the poor dinosaur being circled and pelted with foam bullets from all the children. The only thing that he can really say about it is that at least the guy was in the suit.

Tony leans back against his chair as he watches the chaos, folding his arms over his chest and rocking the chair onto the back two legs. He seems to be very pensive as he overlooks his son’s throne room, and the look is something Steve is learning to recognize as Tony thinking about the rest of Peter’s family, Mary and Rick, May and Ben. Steve knows that this is Pete’s first birthday without them, and Steve knows what that’s like.

Reaching the holidays without his mom, then Bucky, then the entire 1940’s has always been a sharp knife in Steve’s heart, but the first ones…they always seem to cut the deepest.

Steve reaches out to him, resting his hand on Tony’s shoulder until Tony looks up at him curiously. Then he gives him a smile and a quick, comforting squeeze.

He’s happy when it gets a small smile out of the other man, still a little sad, but happy nonetheless as he returns his gaze to the room.

 


End file.
